Sunday, September 29, 2013

To Put It Nicely.....

Fuck off.

This is my blog and I will swear if I damn well want to.

So, my 18 miler didn't go as planned. I got up, ate, drank and headed to Shelley Lake. I think I'm psyching myself out mentally about 18 miles. I had a tough run and I wasn't enjoying myself. I was annoyed and my hips and my (good) knee was painful. I felt defeated.

I sat down on a bench (three times) to get my head together. I called my best friend, Denise, and talked to her until my minutes on my cell minutes literally ran out. She was a HUGE help in getting me back on my feet and finishing. I also ran into the doctor I worked for and he offered some support as well. Plus, he was with his dog and dogs always cheer me up.

I also went on FB to get some support.....big mistake.

Most people were supportive and told me I could do it. I will remember that always, bc it did help me push thru. I may have cut my run short at 14.16 miles, but I didn't give up and call Matt to get me. The whole time I was limping back, I realized that this is another challenge that I have to overcome. I need to push thru the pain and doubt and finish. I want my medal and Brooks jacket in November.

To the people who say that I hate running or that I'm damaging my knees or go play some sissy sport.....well, fuck off, to put it nicely. I love running, I may not love it everyday, but I love it. I love being outside and running. I love the medals. I love planning for new races in new places. I love organizing a training plan. I love recovering.  I love icing my sore body. I love the feeling when I complete a long or short run. I love the nervousness I feel when I try a new distance. I love the soreness and stiffness in my body. I love when I PR. I love that I have an excuse for my husband to rub my feet. I love that I can eat taco dip for breakfast bc I do need the carbs, fat and protein. I love even when I'm just a second faster than I was a few days before. I love that I have crazy racing goals. I love running on a cool fall day. I love running fast my all those terrifying birds I encounter at Shelley Lake. I love that I still have my toenail that fell off during my training. I love the struggle, the challenge and the victories. I love that I CAN run. Running may not always go my way, but that is just like life. You pick yourself up and move on.