Sunday, June 22, 2014

My Scale Really Frustrates Me

I have noticed more traffic on my website, so I will try to watch my swearing. I had a completely different title picked out that had a lot more "f" words in it and only one of those words was frustration.

My friend Julie and I, started getting back into shape recently. She just had her second baby and I had been eating like I was pregnant with twins. I got a running coach, we started going to yoga twice a week and I starting eating kale, reading labels and trying to replace ice cream with watermelon and grapes. Just so you know, watermelon and grapes tastes NOTHING like ice cream, but I am still enjoying them.

The scale hasn't been a friend. To be honest, it is a bitch. I had started weighing daily bc apparently I needed to feel like crap on a daily basis. How does one gain three pounds in a day? Julie and I decided that we would weigh in every Friday. I liked it until I stopped losing and even gained. I found this insanely frustrating bc I had been feeling great! Running and yoga have had a big impact on me. I feel strong and fit, unfortunately the scale thinks otherwise. The scale makes me feel like I'm not working hard, it makes me doubt myself.

The more I get on the scale, the more frustrated I get which means I eat more and workout less. Why am I busting my ass for NOTHING? I have nothing to show for it! Why not have an extra dessert? Why not eat extra pizza? So what if I feel great, the SCALE says that what I've done is shit. Not only am I still teetering between being overweight and obese, my forehead is breaking out bc when I workout I sweat like a pig. Apparently, even when you are thirty five years old, you can still break out like a sixteen year old. So, I'm gaining weight, I don't fit in my clothes, and my face is breaking out. Not good for the self esteem.

Today, I got pissed. I'm not ready to share my exact weight online, but I am over 200 lbs. I'm tired of seeing it. I know I have thyroid issues (I had radioactive iodine treatment years ago and I'm on Synthyroid forever) and a slow metabolism (My nutritionist tested me and said I'd have to work extra hard to lose weight. It's due to my thyroid.), but this is ridiculous. I work hard and I deserve to be and feel healthy.

So, <inset F word> the scale. The scale sucks and we are breaking up. It is a toxic relationship. I'm not saying I won't relapse and get on there at a weak moment (kinda like when you decide that you will give that ex another chance bc THIS time will be different), but from here on I'd like to only weigh in at my PCP.  Julie and I talked today about what we can use a measurement of loss without using the scale. Julie decided that she would buy a pair of jeans in the next size she wants to be and when she fits in them, she gets a reward. I decided that I would use my running and yoga to get my reward. I want to run my two miles in under twenty three minutes or less. My other goal is to touch my toes. I'm embarrassedly inflexible.

Despite what the scale said on Friday, I have a lot to be happy about. I like that I'm starting to enjoy working out and eating foods that are better for me. I like that I don't miss some of the crap I used to overindulge in. I like that when I do eat something unhealthy that I don't go crazy...well, most of the time-haha. I like that I have a body that can run, do yoga and most things I want to do. I've cut my two mile time by five minutes. I feel my upper body getting stronger every week. I'm sleeping better and drinking more water. I'm trying to choose healthier foods. I eat more veggies, fruits and drink green tea. I have a supportive husband, friends and family. I have my tenth half marathon in Manchester coming up in November that I plan to PR at. There are lots of things to be thankful for, but not the scale. The scale is pure evil and I'm not letting it stand in my way.

1 comment :

  1. You are on the right track...screw that darn scale - she's a fickle bitch!! What is important is that you FEEL GOOD!! You are working out, eating healthier, and enjoying life. So kick that bitch to the curb...she doesn't determine your worth!!

    Way to go on everything you've been doing! :-)