10 Miles: Frustration Rears Its Ugly Head

Another mentally tough week for me, although it was nice to see the scale go down three pounds. I earned my five pound loss badge from FitBit.

Monday's two mile run was a full on disaster. I walked it all and was insanely slow. I stopped my Garmin at thirty-five minutes. I iced a lot more this week and was looking forward to my long run.

I woke up on Saturday and things were already going to crap. My water bottle tasted how my dogs smell, I forgot to defrost my Uncrustable and had to microwave it (helpful tip...don't do it) and I forgot to Body Glide a few lower body parts.

I got to Umstead and was in pretty foul mood. My husband and I had a argument about running injuries the other night and it was stuck in my head. I was distracted by that and the fact a woman about seventy passed me.......walking. WALKING. I slowed down to a walk because when I run angry, I push too hard and then I actually do get injured. I didn't want to risk it, so I slowed down. I got a second wind at six miles and put on my music. Stone Temple Pilots, Foo Fighters and Stevie Wonder got me thru the last few miles. At eight miles, I realized that I miscalculated and had to run out another half mile and back. I wasn't pleased at all. When I finally finished, I looked at my Garmin and it read 2:28:16. My goal was 2:15, I drove home frustrated and pissed off.

This weekend I thought about my running and how frustrated I got. Everyone has bad runs, but I have felt lately, that I've had more bad runs than good. My goal of a 2:30 half marathon is fading further away every week. I'm really going to focus on relaxing and enjoying running and be out in the cooler weather. I still have the dream of at 2:30 half marathon, but I think anything under 2:53 will make me happy as well. I just want to do better than my best time. I'm definitely going to have to work on relaxing and enjoying the run....a lot. I'm going to try really hard, but c'mon. Let's be real-haha!

I checked out a video of the Manchester City Marathon half marathon course and it's hilly. Hills are tough, but luckily they are rolling hills. I can handle those. I'm a bit concerned about the River Road section, but I'm happy that the last part is downhill.  I'm excited because the course runs behind my parent's house, which is pretty cool.

Last week's interview with Kasie was my highest viewed blog ever! I want to thank Kasie again for the great interview. In honor of the Carolina Hurricanes Opening Night, I have a interview with Pete Friesen, the Hurricanes Head Athletic Trainer/ Strength and Conditioning Coach coming up on Wednesday. 

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Never Give Up On Your Dreams

Hope you all enjoyed my interview with my coach, Lou Ann Bakolia. You can contact her at offtorun.com with any questions. I'm really enjoying putting together these interviews, but I am disappointed by the lack of women athletes. I only have one other woman on my interview schedule, all the others haven't responded or declined. I have contacted a few more, so hopefully I'll get a few more lined up!

I did struggle a bit mentally this week with running, but all in all it was a good week. In my head, I'm a way better runner than I actually am. This is good and bad. Good because I believe in myself and have confidence. Bad because I get disappointed easy because in my head I expect so much more from myself. I'm trying to tell my head that running is hard work and being overweight, it is going to even harder. To achieve those times I expect from myself, I have to lose weight. I remember reading that for every pound you lose, you can ran four seconds faster! With my weight loss at a standstill despite working my ass off, I have a lot of frustration.  I've been lifting weights and running since May, and no change in muscle tone or weight (except for a couple pounds here and there). I'm trying to stay positive, but but weekly runs didn't help my attitude.

Monday: 3 miles 40:47

Wednesday: 2 miles 28:10

Saturday I woke up and headed to Umstead to do my eight miles. I was surprised that I was actually chilly when I started, but I'm not complaining! All the humidity here has been a killer for me. I was not looking forward to this run because Umstead is TOUGH. It has tough hills and I usually walk them because you know, I might die if I try to run them. Well, Saturday I felt different and was determined to hit all my intervals (3:1) and I did! Sometimes when I was climbing those damn hills, I was pretty sure I was running in place, but I hit them all. As I got closer to the seventh mile, I wondered if I could run the last mile without the intervals even though I was pretty tired. Twice, I almost gave up, but I kept on. I finished in 1:47:44, beating my slowest eight mile time by thirteen minutes and my fastest by six minutes! For the first time in a long time, I felt validated for my hard work.  I will never be an elite runner by any means, but I'm not going to stop dreaming about it. I dream of getting stronger and faster. I dream of qualifying for Boston. I dream of running in NYC, Chicago, Maui...everywhere! I'm not giving up on my dreams, I'm just going to continue to work hard. Running is a privilege and I need to relax and enjoy the experience.

In non racing news, I finished my third rag quilt. Like Cher said in the movie Clueless, its "full-on Monet... From far away, it's ok, but up close, it's a big old mess".  I still need to practice measuring, sewing in a straight line, pretty much everything. I do love the fabric though! 

I'm spending the rest of Sunday relaxing, icing and watching football. My knees haven't liked me at all since yesterday's run, but my leg seems better. Jager's cataract surgery on Thursday, so we are looking forward to that. Oh, and check out my interview on Wednesday with the Mayor of Running, Bart Yasso!

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